Dear Friend,

There are those people in your life that will always know you better than you know yourself, and then there are the people that only know what you tell them. In my opinion, a true friend listens to you bitch and moan until the day is done and doesn't love you any less. A true friend understands that people go through shitty phases in their lives and sometimes they just need someone to listen and agree, even if I'm being a crazy person. I don't think that's too much to ask for.

I've had friends that I told everything about my life, for a period, and the ones that I've only told stuff when I needed an outlet for emotional drainage. There is probably no one that knows me better than I know myself, yet I have the friends that feel the need to shit on our friendship just to further their lives. I'm 20 years old, I've been through some serious highs and some equally serious lows, but I would never be the person in a relationship to tell someone else that they're bringing me to my lowest point. I not only think that's amazingly insensitive, but I think that any one that believes that is moderately acceptable needs to stop drinking the Kool-Aide.

In 2009, I lost five friends. Three to a situation beyond my control, one to a car accident, and one to herself. And in those five completely different scenarios, I never once think "Maybe I could have done something different, maybe I could've changed the outcome of that relationship". To be real, I've had a lot of friends, some good and some bad. I've had a few people in my life that really shaped me into being a positive role model for anyone that looks to me for advice, and I've had the bad apples that just bruised my self-esteem and made me want to give the world a giant 'Fuck you'.

But in all honesty, I've never once seen myself as a negative person. I believe that shitty things happen to good people and you just have to look beyond it to find the inner lesson, but I also believe that good things happen to shitty people. And in this year, I've seen how my friendship has been completely misconstrued. Not only do I think I'm a pristine listener, but I give excellent advice, because it's probably certain that I've been there, and I've been one of few people I know to not go back on my word. But negative? I think that's a fabrication.

I'm a firm believer in the fact that some people were just placed in your life to bring you down. Maybe they're good at first and they're there for you when you need them, but there will come a time when your friendship just becomes too much for them. Not because you're not a good friend to them anymore, or because you lose touch, but purely because they see themselves as being above you. And my opinion? That's NOT a friend.

A friend never says "You're being crazy", unless you are. A friend never says "Have you considered talking to someone? Anger management?", unless you're being so crazy that they're afraid to be in the same room as you. A friend is someone that calls you out on your shit, good and bad. A person that knows, rain or shine, that you would KICK ASS for them, and not ask questions. And my biggest belief is that a friend knows when to tell you to back off, when to say "Listen, you're being stupid, relax" or "Hey... You're really not going to be welcomed with open arms, you probably should stay home".

A real friend knows you, and believes in you, through happiness, depression, life, death, success and failure, and they do it with the grace and class of their greatest power. A friend never gives up on you, unless it's a mutual decision and it's been agreed that, though your relationship was amazing, your future is lack luster.