The Road..

Some people live their lives making plans, always mapping out their next step, worried about the twists and turns of the road: Afraid to fail, these people live safely, never spontaneous, always cautious. I've never been cautious, I see a barricade and I plow right into it. I see a hurdle and I leap over it, never looking back. I've never thought of myself as someone who regretted decisions, because I've never made plans.
In May of 2009, I made the decision to move to New York City, because I had been terrible, and burned all bridges with friends back home. I made some new friends over the summer, and had started to build a really great circuit of people and activities that helped me forget how badly I had been in the wrong. When the opportunity to get away completely came, I never thought twice. I said to myself "Okay, time to go".
I don't believe in regretting anything, because even though Chris and Josh are both no longer with us, I've met so many great people along this journey this past year. I've met people that I can't imagine my life without. I can't imagine my life ten, twenty or thirty years from now without their words in my ear or their support holding me from collapsing.
Without the new people in my life, I wouldn't be as alive as I am now. I'm alive with pride, some prejudice and a lot of experience.
Everyone I know is either getting married or pregnant.. And sadly, that's just the thing they do. If I hadn't left, there was always the chance I would fall into that pattern, no matter how different I was from the pack. If I hadn't been here, I'd be there. If I hadn't been doing this, I'd be doing that. If I wasn't feeling this alive.. How would I be feeling?