That time.

There's always the time of year that makes you reminisce on relationships in your life. Good or bad, existing or ending, and what the new year will bring to all of them. In my opinion, 2010 will bring one of two things: Good fortune to friends and frenemies both, or extreme misfortune for all. But of both options, I wish good on all that mistreated me this year. Because, even though I felt offended by many of them, I would hate for anyone to think "Bailey was a real bitch this year, I hope she chokes on her Blue Moon and dies". Even if you were horrible to me, I wish you nothing but the best. May the year 2010 top them all.

Dear Friend,

There are those people in your life that will always know you better than you know yourself, and then there are the people that only know what you tell them. In my opinion, a true friend listens to you bitch and moan until the day is done and doesn't love you any less. A true friend understands that people go through shitty phases in their lives and sometimes they just need someone to listen and agree, even if I'm being a crazy person. I don't think that's too much to ask for.

I've had friends that I told everything about my life, for a period, and the ones that I've only told stuff when I needed an outlet for emotional drainage. There is probably no one that knows me better than I know myself, yet I have the friends that feel the need to shit on our friendship just to further their lives. I'm 20 years old, I've been through some serious highs and some equally serious lows, but I would never be the person in a relationship to tell someone else that they're bringing me to my lowest point. I not only think that's amazingly insensitive, but I think that any one that believes that is moderately acceptable needs to stop drinking the Kool-Aide.

In 2009, I lost five friends. Three to a situation beyond my control, one to a car accident, and one to herself. And in those five completely different scenarios, I never once think "Maybe I could have done something different, maybe I could've changed the outcome of that relationship". To be real, I've had a lot of friends, some good and some bad. I've had a few people in my life that really shaped me into being a positive role model for anyone that looks to me for advice, and I've had the bad apples that just bruised my self-esteem and made me want to give the world a giant 'Fuck you'.

But in all honesty, I've never once seen myself as a negative person. I believe that shitty things happen to good people and you just have to look beyond it to find the inner lesson, but I also believe that good things happen to shitty people. And in this year, I've seen how my friendship has been completely misconstrued. Not only do I think I'm a pristine listener, but I give excellent advice, because it's probably certain that I've been there, and I've been one of few people I know to not go back on my word. But negative? I think that's a fabrication.

I'm a firm believer in the fact that some people were just placed in your life to bring you down. Maybe they're good at first and they're there for you when you need them, but there will come a time when your friendship just becomes too much for them. Not because you're not a good friend to them anymore, or because you lose touch, but purely because they see themselves as being above you. And my opinion? That's NOT a friend.

A friend never says "You're being crazy", unless you are. A friend never says "Have you considered talking to someone? Anger management?", unless you're being so crazy that they're afraid to be in the same room as you. A friend is someone that calls you out on your shit, good and bad. A person that knows, rain or shine, that you would KICK ASS for them, and not ask questions. And my biggest belief is that a friend knows when to tell you to back off, when to say "Listen, you're being stupid, relax" or "Hey... You're really not going to be welcomed with open arms, you probably should stay home".

A real friend knows you, and believes in you, through happiness, depression, life, death, success and failure, and they do it with the grace and class of their greatest power. A friend never gives up on you, unless it's a mutual decision and it's been agreed that, though your relationship was amazing, your future is lack luster.

It's just one of those days...

It's Christmas time, and the family is rushing around doing this and that, talking and shouting.. Some necessary actions, most not so much.

...where nothing really feels right. Like every five seconds I get so annoyed I want to scream, but there's no good reason. One of the most frustrating feelings in the world, that you can't control your mood when you need to most. I go to sleep annoyed and I wake up tired, only to feel a combination of those two emotions for the entirety of the day.

Thank goodness I'm away from MDB for a while, I needed a vacation.

Not amused today.

So today was supposed to be my "trial run", and it didn't work out. I love that management doesn't fill each other in on their plans, so it seems like I'm in the wrong. COOL. Sarah, Annie and I are going to check out (and potentially join) Dolphin Fitness Clubs tomorrow. Apparently we're starting to wake up at 6am to work out before we all go to work... We'll see how long that works out.

It's been really cold... Forties all week and projected weather is RAIN until Monday. Which means I don't have to worry about being stuck outside for work, but also that getting to work is going to be a pain because of train delays and traffic. In need of a leather jacket, headed to Urban Outfitters or somewhere this weekend to look around. I hope my paycheck tomorrow is a big one so that I don't have to feel guilty about buying one I really like. Apparently I worked 43 hours this past week... Looking forward to that three hour overtime pay of $19.50 (:

A kid was picked up this week that they think was linked in the robbery of our apartment, which is good for us, because that means we're that much closer to finding out if we can get anything back, but bad for 13-year-old Parrott who would rather skip out of his group home to rob people he doesn't even know.. Good riddance on him getting caught so soon. Apparently there were 14 robberies linked to him and his friends. Wow. Like GO TO SCHOOL!

I really should start getting in bed earlier. Cheers to that.

Lederhosen

Saturday was "Oktoberfest" on Stone street, meaning all the girls were scantily clad and serving large steins of Hofbrau to crowds of drunken German lovers. Unfortunately, my feet were killinggggg me all day, apparently breaking in a pair of shoes for the first time on an 11-11 day isn't an ideal situation. The day didn't start off well since the latter part of my week was spent doing doubles, but the whole day was a success. We didn't run out of food, or beer.. But the steins were an issue, since we ordered about HALF as many as should have been ordered. 

Today will be filled with rest and relaxation before I start next week's tired routine of nine to five and back-to-back doubles at Mad Dog & Beans.

Xo

Update #1

I've been meaning to start a blog.. Writing about all of the things I'm going through and the things that happen to me in the City, but I just haven't had the time to get it done. That ends here... I'm starting now. 

A lot has happened from July 7th-September 30th. 

Starting with my big move from Texas into the City.. Quickly followed by Josh's untimely death and schedule pressure and occasional stress at Mad Dog.. Then all the family drama of September, and most recently (Monday) the burglary of our apartment. Not much was taken from me.. Thank goodness my laptop didn't get taken, but Sarah's brand new flat screen tv and Annie's Baylor class ring... And my volleyball state championship ring. Sure, it's a big deal that so many valuable things were taken, but I'm thankful that I wasn't in the apartment when the guy came through. That would have been so much worse. Like Annie said... Bad things come in threes, I'm off the hook.. For now.

Lets see:

Work- Mad Dog. Usually Wednesday-Saturday 11-11, and the occasional Monday or Tuesday night when I'm not-

Interning- Tractenberg. Frustrating to be interning for a 2nd year with new people, new team, same tasks.. But I think it's been good for me to have a schedule outside of "work".

Sure, hostessing isn't really a full-time job, but when I'm working around 40 hours a week and making $13 an hour? I consider that quite the feat. I'm shooting for a $500 paycheck.. But with the taxes and the management trying to cut my overtime, that doesn't look do-able, for the time being anyway.

Life- Different... Being on a break from school is great.. There's no stress to study or to worry about waking up in time to get to class, but there's a different world.. Working and interning is like school. Like if I don't get up in enough time to eat something for breakfast, I'm most likely going to have a rough day. If I'm late, I'll most likely miss something important and pay for it later, either on my paycheck or in passing conversation.

Pretty standard day-to-day activities, but it's not much different from being in school. On a schedule, deadlines looming, trying to make ends meet.. Meeting new people, and trying to decide who and what I want to become. With fall coming quickly, looks like I'm going to have to step up the search for sweaters and boots.. This lightweight jacket situation isn't going to cut it when it's cold out. I have a feeling it's going to be a fascinating couple of months.

Xo