It's a new day..

I haven't been blogging as much as I'd like to say I should be; but I've been a little busy. Doing things I should be doing to further my life, but some things that aren't critical thrown about in the mix. Sort of like three steps forward, two steps back. These days seem to be flying by so quickly, it's so strange. It's already almost June of 2010; Almost a year of me living in New York, almost a year of Josh being gone. A year of firsts and lasts, but mostly firsts.
Nobody likes to grow up, especially not me, but being young forever is selfish and unrealistic. People die and leave their families devastated, I'd never wish that on anyone I dislike, because I know how thoroughly it tortures: I know how it tortures friends, acquaintances, and most of all families. I like to write down what I'm feeling, because I've been to the point where I can't explain why I feel how I do, but I don't really like to explain myself at all, so maybe it's a blessing in disguise.
I looked at pictures from Christopher's "birthday" today, and it really hit me: Death is so permanent. Whether people realize it or not, you put your life at risk every day. From walking home alone in the dark listening to your iPod, to driving drunk, risks are all around us and they're so hard to resist. Everybody makes mistakes, but when people don't learn from those mistakes, history is doomed to repeat itself.
I'm only twenty. My life is only getting started. I'm not ready to go yet, I've got so much life left to live, I just hope that the ones I love think that about themselves as well, that they understand what it's like to lose someone they love, and how to move on. Death is not the end; it's a new beginning, and while that person is gone, they're not lost. Love the life you live: Live the life you love.